When Tears Don't Come

When Tears Don't Come

During midlife, I cried easily. I cried when I woke up depressed, sad, or worried. I cried as needed at other times, especially when bored or lonely. And crying often helped me feel better. Crying can trigger the release of endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals. This hormonal response can lead to an improved mood and a sense of emotional well-being after crying. 

Do you cry? Do you feel better after you do?

No Crying in Menopause

I'm beyond midlife and perimenopause now. I'm fully in menopause. I haven't been able to cry for a few years. I remember a woman at church telling me that she was also unable to cry, but I didn't really understand her until now. 

When I feel like I need to cry these days, I simply say to my husband, "I feel like crying." But no tears will come.

Apparently, some individuals find that, as they age, they develop increased emotional regulation (the ability to handle their feelings better) and resilience resulting in a reduced tendency to cry or express emotions outwardly, even when feeling like crying. That might be true for me, but a cry now and then would be okay too. I miss those cleansing tears that help me connect with myself.

Change is Constant

When it comes down to this new revelation on crying, it seems simply that change is part of a woman's life from the time she's born until she passes. Changes are something we navigate on the fly. We are all living life for the first time. And each phase requires we stay kind to ourselves acknowledging that changes in emotional expression are a natural part of life.

As always, there is a time and season for everything. Change is constant though sometimes so slow we don't see it happening. But kindness to ourselves is always something we can keep focused on with the strength of God's loving guidance.