Today's goal was to get to the pharmacy to pickup prescriptions. Now that I have a few medical issues, that is a regular adventure. But I'm glad I switched to a community pharmacy where my name is known and I'm warmly greeted. And, it's close to home.
The more life moves on as we age, the more difficult it seems to find new friends or social connections. So I value short conversations with people like my pharmacist. Do you?
And as I was driving, thoughts flooded my mind. I find that happens in the shower and on walks too. These breaks in my day, when I pull away from the computer screen--and for many of you it would be your phone--is when life is processed.
I'd been reading comments on a Twitter (X) thread just before heading out. A woman had asked a question to others who are retired. She seemed to feel like every day in her life recently was the same as the day before and wondered if other retirees felt the same.
And as I drove later, I thought about my interactions on social media and life in general and the idea that most of us simply want to know we aren't the only one feeling as we do. Hearing someone share their struggles helps us.
The more time I spend reading a variety of online material, the more I see that is where the most vulnerable thoughts are being shared.
I thought about the feedback this woman was given. Some of it was great. Much resonated with me since I now call myself semi-retired. But some advice wasn't so great. That is often the type of advice from a person who hasn't walked in our shoes--who is not in the same life phase--or who has a different personality style.
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Personality Style
I've been reading lately to learn more about my personality style. For far too long I figured there was something wrong with me. I was a shy child and only now do I know the term 'social anxiety'. I had it then, but instead of others understanding, I was teased about it. Since I have a son with it, I have a greater understanding. I don't push and prod him. I also have a daughter who is an extrovert. And I'm happy with how she lives her life.
It is easy to feel like an oddball based on our personality type. But God made us each unique for his own purposes. Why should we criticize what God has made?
I pushed myself into being what they call an ambivert, by my 30s, but inside I'm still an introvert. The pandemic living proved it. I liked being home.
Having transitioned from being a full-time mom to working freelance from home, I marveled at how well I navigated being home so much. Yes, I find joy in the security of my nest and appreciate the freedom to express my creativity without the constraints of criticism or office politics as I might experience in an office job. It's only now that I realize it's an intrinsic part of who I am, a design by God.
Instead of listening to advice from extroverts about all the wonderful things they think I should be doing like travelling, playing cards with the locals, and joining a 5K running group, I am focusing on embracing the way God made me.
I enjoy long periods of deep thought, solitude, prayer, or meditative thinking. I prefer deep conversations online and in person and despise salesy type networking talk. I'm realistic about my flaws and try more and more to admit when I'm wrong. I spend my free time on creative aspects like creating artwork, taking photos, and writing.
Extroverts on the thread I read today came across as a little scolding--but that's my sensitive nature reacting. Some told the original poster (OP) that she needed to get out more, that her brain and body needed more stimulation, and went on to brag about their travels. I doubt any of these people knew this person personally and she hadn't shared many details about what else she does each day so it seemed a little judgmental to me.
I tend to shudder when people use terms like "you need to" and "you should". Maybe a person doesn't need to do this or that. A favourite saying of mine is this:
Just because a person CAN do something, doesn't mean they SHOULD do it.
Ask God What He Wants You to Do
What matters is living life according to what God wants you to do.
Psalm 139:16 “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” (NLT).
We are on earth to be reconciled to God, to listen for his voice, and to obey him.
"Fear God and keep His commandments, because this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13, BSB).
There is no higher purpose than being a servant of the King of the universe (see Psalm 84:10).
Honour Your Uniqueness
God created us each with a unique personality. He can use all of it. We will love others, encourage others, be a blessing, and serve God in the ways he has designed us to. But to be effective in his service, it's important we maintain a healthy self-image. To go forward with confidence and not self-doubt.
That is something I'm working on. Are you?
I want to see myself as God's handiwork and see myself as he sees me. No self-loathing. No criticism. And I am working on believing the still small voice that tells me
You're doing a good job,
You're a hard worker,
God loves you immensely.
I am leaning on trusting him to work out issues I might be tempted to worry about. I am leaning on him to work behind the scenes putting new opportunities in place for me.
We are “God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10).
How can you look at your personality style and use it in God's work?
