Do You Have Crisis Fatigue? Are You Searching for Your Life Calling?


Painting by Rosalie Garde 2014 "Birds' Favourite


Though I've done many great things in life, I often fail to see it myself. Instead, I look at what is not happening. And that is rarely helpful. This past year I have felt like I didn't do much. Life has not been normal. I have been working through the night, often, and sleeping in the day. 

That has been bothersome, but when I look back, I see I have accomplished a lot.

TIP: STOP FOCUSING ON WHAT IS NOT HAPPENING. 


CRISIS FATIGUE

Though I have done a lot, right now I have crisis fatigue. Let me share a few of the projects I've been involved in.

I felt called by God to participate in a special project for a year that involved using open-source intelligence (OSINT) research for finding criminals. I worked with a law enforcement agency and a team of other researchers. 

At first, I was brave to face the nonsense. It was NOT A CALLING I COULD TALK PUBLICLY ABOUT. The highs and lows had to be kept to myself. 

IT WAS NOT A PAID CALLING. Yet, it was the most fulfilling volunteer work I'd done in a long time. It kept me sane through covid shutdowns.

How did I get into it? It was a natural process of a path God has had me on since 2014 with OSINT work and with what I witnessed in 2020/2021. All issues in my work evoked righteous anger. I dedicated the work to God as I know he shared my righteous anger over the atrocities. Each time I dug in, I prayed, "Lord, open my eyes to see what I need to see. Lead me where I need to go (online)." 

The work compelled me to be the hands and feet of Jesus using my tech skills for this project. 

TIP: GIVE GOD YOUR SKILLS TO USE IN WHATEVER WAY HE NEEDS YOU TO USE THEM. 


GRIEF

My elderly mom passed away in 2020 so this recent crisis fatigue includes that grief--being an orphan--wishing I'd asked mom about this or that or listened to her more when she was about to tell me something. Feeling guilty I didn't do as much as I might have the last few months of her life. . .

And, my son dealt with his internship mostly online due to Covid shutdowns and has been unemployed all winter! As his mom, I want to help him find a job that fits all the education he paid a lot of money for. And so I grieve all the stalemates. 


COVID FATIGUE 

Amongst all this has been the bombardment of unending education about Covid-19, stories about anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, hearing about needless deaths, and learning new strains are popping up even now. 

I have Covid-19 fatigue. Do you? 

In 2020, I quit my gym. There was no way I was going to do their videos at home. 

I had also been called to host a Shelter-at-Home Facebook Group for those feeling the isolation. It was helpful for me. But now was time to lay it down.  

TIP: QUIT SOMETHING WHEN IT'S TIME.


WAR FATIGUE 

With the war in Ukraine, this month, I wanted to do more than pray for Ukraine. So I became part of a cyber sleuth task force to help counter the Russian propaganda (which is huge), with the truth. 

The lies they tell are mindboggling. The scenes I witnessed on Twitter by respected journalists were hard to watch. It added to my mental stress. (Pray for the journalists, the soldiers, and the people of both countries.) 

But, even this work felt like a God-calling. I prayed, "Lord, take the loaves and fishes of my work, and multiply it. Let those who need to hear the truth hear it." 

As of today, I've tried to pass the baton to others.


Back to Square One 

So, here I am, back to square one wondering about my next assignment in living out God's purpose. In the past, it included paid writing, ebook writing, editing projects, (as far as my paid work went). But lots of that motivation is gone. (I applied for a steady proofreading job and didn't get to the interview stage. My heart sank.) I am working on my artwork and publishing it online. Will have to see where that goes. 

TIP: TRY SEVERAL THINGS. IT IS HARD TO FIND ONE LONG-TERM CALLING.
               
I have found over the course of life that for myself, God doesn't give me a big shiny calling that rains cash. For me, God's callings are usually found in his nudges. After inviting God into my day, I pray for God to nudge me. When I feel a nudge--an urge to do something--I do it. And for now, that is how I will await God's next calling. 

Don't Face Midlife Menopause Challenges Alone

 


I was reading a book recently that had a chapter on Menopause. It could have equally been entitled, My MidLife Crisis. The author shared 
something like this [revised slightly]:

...I had hot flashes at inconvenient times. I always felt like I needed to announce them, but my husband really didn't want to know. But I wanted him to know because we're close in age and I wanted to go through this together! After all, if my fertility were drying up, shouldn't he be aware of it? Isn't it the end of "our" fertility?

...I noticed new wrinkles on my face and a double chin. I needed to color my hair more often. No matter how hard I exercised, I continued to gain weight, I hated my reflection. I wanted to look great at my daughter's high school graduation party parents were invited to, but I felt frumpy and self-conscious. I wanted my husband to be attracted to me, but he was getting really lousy (or lazy) about giving me compliments--when I needed them most..."

Added to that, the author shared her husband, a few years older than she, had already displayed a loss of sex drive. She said talking about it felt awkward. All he would say was not to pressure him. But losing his prowess was a blow for her too. It made her sad and she felt unloved. 
 
MIDLIFE WOES

Many women in midlife women face issues common to these. It's part of aging. Many of these issues are rooted in the physical changes of each partner, but they certainly affect emotional wellbeing and the relationship too.

Topics like these--hot flashes, weight gain, body image challenges, sexual dysfunction--are rarely addressed publicly. If a woman seems "unbalanced", other things are often blamed. Menopausal challenges are made fun of.

Not every woman experiences midlife challenges. I recall a conversation with my mother-in-law. She said she had no problems. Her periods just stopped and that was it. But others find life 
dominated by new symptoms--depression, hot flashes, weight gain, a change in sex drive, or menopausal migraines to name a few. 
To make matters worse, the symptoms of perimenopause, menopause or midlife can go on for years. Not one or two years, but closer to ten or more. 

FIND HELP AND ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER

When the Bible suggests Christians encourage one another, these issues aren't what we commonly think of. But they don't need to take an embarrassing backseat. They are significant. When women share their feelings, struggles, and most of all, solutions with each other, they help each other.

There is no one-fits-all solution to any of life's challenges, but it's good to have input from others about what worked and what helped. Hearing from another helps you understand you aren't alone. You aren't a freak. You are normal. 

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV

 

Lost in a Place Called There **Warning US Politics & Covid both Mentioned

 RESHARING A POST FROM January 2021


Warning**US Politics and Covid Mentioned. 

I haven't written lately because I'm there. What is there? In a place of confusion. It's the type of place I didn't plan to go to. It's the place I tried to avoid. Maybe you're there too. 

My there includes a mixed up sleep schedule, crazy dreams, a house full of clutter with nowhere to go, lack of motivation, lack of writing  sales, and a diagnosis of prediabetes due to pandemic overeating of treats. 

**********

When the pandemic struck, I figured life wouldn't be that much different. I'd worked from a home office for years. What could be so different with a stay-at-home order?

But now--in my there--my daily life bears resemblance to what some joke is Ground Hog Day - a day that keeps repeating itself. It seems the most important task of my day is to have my coffee and decide what's for dinner.

Like most, I've done all the fun things. We've watched umpteen TV shows. I returned to decluttering. I went for walks. I wrote a book and published it under a pen name. Once the book was complete, I thought God might release us from the pandemic. That was not to be so. Things got worse. 



Though I started a shelter-at-home Facebook group to keep myself motivated, I couldn't go onto social media without also seeing annoying posts about the US election, conspiracy theories about Covid, and the like.

I stayed on high alert. My husband and I took to watching CNN--in my opinion, the only truth-telling news station in the USA. But many say they are the enemy. I watched for myself to vett it. I didn't agree with all shared, but enough of it spoke truth to my soul, God as my witness. 

But while they told the truth, millions of Americans were fogged into believing lies mostly spread by other networks. What an abomination! 

***********

Now, I'm Canadian. I don't have a stake in the US political scene. It was just humanly apparent that many were being deceived and I could do little about it. I wanted to scream. I was tempted to post the truth, but those misted would for sure argue. 

Daily updates became more upsetting each day with a president (who, imo, doesn't deserve that title) spinning lie after lie.  Many of my good Christian friends believed every word he said. It was saddening and maddening. There was no getting through to them. Their minds had woven some kind of weird theories that included prophecy and Christianity in the midst.  

I don't believe that is right. Churches were hosting the politicians. How deplorable! The mix of church and state should not be. I learned a new word this summer. The word "grift". It is when politicians use their platform to get money from naive followers. I saw believers being used and lied to, their money taken. 

I followed Canadian Fact Checker Daniel Dale. He spelled out just what was a lie and what was the truth of each party. Both had slipups, but the US president (at the time) spewed more lies than Dale could keep up with. Unfortunately, as week turned into month, the outgoing president continued to blind the eyes of many of my very good friends. Trying to warn them only served to divide us. I could only pray. 

!!!&&==(((

I will not say I agree with everything the Democrats purport. But I have been able to discern enough to know that I feel God has chosen President-elect Biden to be a peace-maker and to redirect the country. He never stooped so low as to have a smear campaign. He's a gentleman and I pray my Christian friends will trust God in who He has put into place. 

I know Christians pray for the election. Why then do they have such a hard time accepting the results? 

Why can they not obey and support what God has decided? Why are so many using God's name in vain, to fight the truth?

The election has been the most legitimate one to-date. None of the conspiracy theories have had ANY evidence. The highest God-appointed courts of the land have thrown out the cases. God has put Biden in place. Deal with it!

Maybe you've stopped reading because you supported the outgoing president and you can't bring yourself to believe you were so wrong or that he might be evil. Let me tell you, he is evil, has been, has only used your beliefs for his own purposes while he faked being a Christian. You've been tricked. 

I hope and pray that you will ask God to help you shed the mind-control the enemy put upon you and that you will choose God's plan for your country

There, I said it. I needed to say this. I am tired of being a world watcher who has to constantly zip her lips to keep friends. 

***----***

Thank you USA for entertaining my husband and I during the pandemic. Thank you for opening our eyes. I didn't know so many ruffians and deplorables existed as what I've witnessed lately.

What we've witnessed is sad and disgusting. It added to our stress. We watched because so much of what we might have done or watched otherwise was shut down. The US news became dominant even here in Canada. 

So my prayer became, and is, that those buying into conspiracy theories will step back and look at all sides. The enemy is a great deceiver and he has deluded too many of my friends. He has caused too much division and stress. 

SEEK PEACE AND PURSUE IT

LOVE, NOT WAR

And now, post the January 6 insurrection, in the dark of winter, my sleep schedule is mixed up. My goals have shifted. 

My writing career seems to have come to a stop. Article sales have not been enough to buy a month of coffees. 

And so, again, I sense God is about to lead me to a new thing. But I've been there before--desperately seeking that new thing--conjuring up possibilities, wondering if it's a paid job, a new purpose, or some kind of new direction. I cling to hope yet, inside, doubt clouds my mind. 

So here I am tonight, getting a lot off my chest, revealing some of my perhaps not-so-nice traits. Feeling lost in the claustrophobic space of my own four walls, wondering how to fill my time. I'm there.


 

Midlife Crisis Feelings and Lies--Tools to Deal with Them

 



When a woman feels she's in "crisis" during midlife, in many cases, she wants to be rid of those "feelings" more than she wants to take drastic action.  The trouble is, the source of those feelings can vary. The source can be her thoughts, but also her circumstances. 

Circumstances play a role, but what is more important is a woman's reaction to her circumstances. Some trials in life are inevitable. God promises to be a woman's strength and shield. He promises to help her through whatever challenge she faces. Struggles develop character, faith, and patience. Instead of getting overwhelmed by life's circumstances, be patient with them.

Women tend to worry. Moms worry over their kids. God suggests do not worry but give your worries instead to him to handle. 
Getting out of crisis, in this case, relies on a woman developing her faith and trust in God.



Some women simply feel ignored, hidden, lost in the role of wife and motherhood. Even if having a family has been a dream. Her interests take a back burner to those of her family and the demands of caring for a home. If you're in this situation, look for ways to carve out time to spend on your personal passions. If things have opened giving you more personal time, go on a purpose hunt. There are many resources here and online for discovering your mission and passions. 

Some get caught comparing their lives not only to others but to fictitious women on TV or to their own high expectations. The trap is common. Resolve to be your own best self and not give into comparisons. 

Indeed, the answer for dealing with crisis feelings is to examine what you've been making your focus. Changing your thinking is essential if you're to enjoy your life. Sometimes what is needed is acceptance of yourself, family, and your place in life. Acceptance is a close sister to contentment. 

Your feelings will lie to you, often. But that doesn't mean you totally ignore them. You're human. Humans have feelings and emotions. If you need someone to vett them through, try a counselor, coach or close friend.  If there is a stirring in your soul you can't shake, take investigative steps toward some new things you might want to include in your life more in the days ahead. Make a plan and give yourself credit for the hard work of working through midlife crisis feelings. 

Are you In the Empty Nest?




Nest Emptying can be Messy 

I know some of you have landed here because you are in a phase of nest-emptying. Your children are perched ready to jump into a fulltime job and eventually move out to live on their own. Or, they're about to marry. Or they've moved out to live near college for the school year.

Others may not be there yet but are wanting to prepare themselves. I remember doing that when my children were still at home. I feared I'd have a breakdown of sorts once they left the nest. I feared the stage. I wanted to be prepared.


But I've been through the phase now--more or less--and it wasn't cut and dried and straightforward. My nest emptying has been like this: 

Rather than the picture of a bird leaving the nest flying off into the sunrise, the picture that expresses my experience is that of a messy nest with parent birds a little wound up with youngins coming back and forth, returning to the nest with their stashes of junk.

That means, in between school years, mine may have moved home with their supplies, and moved back out again the next school year. They may have been home weekends and holidays. And each time they returned home, dynamics had to be modified. 


While at 18 they do enter adulthood, the entire nest-emptying process takes much longer for many. There are multiple adjustments needed for both the child and the parent along the way. 
Adjustments that have to do with stepping back to let them experience trials on their own; knowing when to step in; knowing when to back off. And for the child, they need to know mom will not be mothering them and babying them the way she used to. They will need to pitch in and help when home. 


No Set Schedule

Each family's nest empties its own way. The child learns new independence and so do the parents.

The parents may find they worry less when the child is out of sight and mind. They may enjoy simpler meals and the free space to be intimate on a whim. 

My mothering mind pictured my kids returning home after graduating and the actual nest emptying happening after that. But my daughter didn't return home to live. She'd already spread her wings in ways I'd never know. But I had not spread mine at the same rate! 

There are less shoes now.

The Grief Process

Grief is a process parents go through. Weeping can happen at any time.  

You grieve because you miss the children and the activity they brought into your life. Moreso, you grieve the change in your role as mom.  

When those moments come, let them. Feel what you need to feel, and then look for the new freedoms you will have at this phase: 

Can you sleep in longer? Can you make easier meals? Is the home peaceful and quiet? Does your home stay tidier longer? 




Letting Go is Healthy 


While letting go can feel sad, by doing so and refusing to worry, your own mental health improves.

While parenting, much was required of you physically, mentally, and emotionally. You grocery shopped with the children in mind. You made breakfasts, lunches, dinners, drove your teens around, ran errands, cleaned the house, etc. 

Most moms also dealt with tremendous emotional burdens. They might have worried about their children's physical, emotional, spiritual, and social wellbeing. I know I did.

As a parent, you stood in the gap for your children, advocated for them, felt compelled to organize them and their schedule.  

Now, in the empty nest, unless you have a special needs child, you can let go of much. You can trust that what you taught them will stick. You can celebrate how well they will do. 

In setting them free, you can focus on who YOU are in this life stage. You can let go of the reins that tie your children to you. You can celebrate the new freedoms that are yours in the empty nest. 

As always, look to God to help you walk through this new life phase. List your prayers, and listen to what he tells you to do. He will strengthen and guide you. He will show you where to head next. 


Are You Facing Challenges of PeriMenopause or Menopause?




I was reading a book in 2012 that had a chapter on Menopause. It could have equally been entitled, MidLife Crisis and Women.


One woman described her story something like this [revised slightly]:


...I had hot flashes at inconvenient times. I always felt  I needed to announce them, but my husband really didn't want to know. But I wanted him to know because we're close in age and I wanted to go through this together! After all, if my fertility were drying up, shouldn't he be aware of it? Isn't it the end of "our" fertility?

...I noticed new wrinkles on my face, and a double chin. I needed to color my hair more often. No matter how hard I exercised I continued to gain weight, I hated my reflection. I wanted to look great at my daughter's high school graduation, but I felt frumpy and self-conscious. I wanted my husband to be attracted to me, but he was getting really lousy (or lazy) about giving me compliments--when I needed them most..."

MIDLIFE WOES

Many women in midlife women have issues common to what this woman described. Many of these issues are rooted in physical changes, but those issues can affect emotional wellbeing too.

These topics are rarely addressed in Christian circles, at work, or even in family circles.
Many women pretend they're okay, or joke about the menopausal process, not revealing their own inner turmoil.  If a woman seems "unbalanced", her behavior is often blamed on other things or joked about. "She eats too much. She doesn't take care of herself..."

FACING CHALLENGES  

Not every woman may feel she has midlife challenges. Some get no symptoms related to perimenopause or menopause. But for those who do feel they have noticeable changes going on, it can sometimes help to label them and to understand many others have similar challenges.

Some perimenopausal or menopausal challenges can be very debilitating for some women, interfering with their daily life. Some seem to need excessive sleep. Others struggle with chronic insomnia that affects the quality of their work day. Others are dominated by hot flashes or menopausal migraines. 

The symptoms of perimenopause and menopause can go on for years!


FIND HELP AND ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER

When the Bible suggests encouraging one another or helping those who are struggling, things like menopause and mid-life crisis are rarely what comes to mind. But these REAL LIFE issues can be included.
When women share their feelings, struggles, and most of all, solutions, they help each other.

There is no one-fits-all solution. Some women jest that it is nothing. Some were out of the stage at a much younger age. But others deal with symptoms that are challenging. I know I did.

I dealt with episodes of depression that were connected to periods. No one could explain it, but instead of the usual pre-period depression, this new depression, which started when I was about 48-years-old, arrived five days after a period ended and was deep and dark, lasting a couple of weeks. I had heavy periods that leaked if I sneezed. I had night sweats and hot flashes for over ten years. 

Some women find relief by starting on HRT (hormone replacement therapy), while others refuse to try it--sometimes because of family history health reasons or simply fear.

Some women prefer to manage their symptoms. Some don't recognize that they are depressed and fail to get help. Others think they are depressed, when really they might just need more rest and recovery than before, or more socialization.

Some women make drastic changes blaming their marriage for how they feel. They might ponder separation and divorce, have an affair, or entertain a host of other strange activities.

The woman in the book I was reading told her story while looking back. She admitted that if she had found a circle of friends to talk it out with that she might have faired better. She ended her story saying she did indeed move through it all and came out a happy, well-adjusted woman by age 60.


If you're struggling, don't struggle alone. Find another woman to share with. Gather professionals around you to provide guidance. Build your own team of mental health therapists, physicians, naturopaths, or whatever else it might take to help you through this stage. Tell your husband what you need from him.

POINTS TO PONDER
  • There are solutions for hot flashes/night sweats when or if they get intolerable, speak to your doctor.
  • Mental health therapy with a certified counselor when depressed can be very helpful, don't dismiss it.
  • Don't be afraid of trying an anti-depressant medication recommended by your doctor if your brain chemistry is the root of your issues.
  • Do current research on HRT. There is much that debunks former fears. Talk to others on HRT and hear their thoughts. Try it for yourself.

    Personally, I landed on help in stages--often waiting too long to get help. I used online counseling and also in-person counseling. I went on HRT, and the hot flashes subsided immediately. I went off HRT once I felt I was over the worst of it. I was prescribed an anti-depressant for many years. 

Stay encouraged with this quote from Rick Warren from The Purpose Driven Life, page 31:

"If you have felt hopeless, hold on!
Wonderful changes are going to happen in your life
as you begin to live it on purpose.

God says, "I know what I am planning for you...
'I have good plans for you,
not plans to hurt you.
I will give you hope and a good future.'"

"God is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of--infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes."

Starting Steps for Working Through a Mid-Life Crisis





I understand completely the idea of a Christian woman being in what she feels is a mid-life crisis. When she was younger, she had life spread out before her. Now, in later life, or midlife, she finds herself unable to picture what life should look like going forward. 

Maybe she's raised her family. That took a lot of energy. Maybe she dealt with marriage ups and downs, loss and grief. I've researched enough to know that by empty nest, many women feel tired. But at the same time, they want to step out into something new for themselves--apart from being wife and mom. Some research says by midlife men want to wind down while women want to go back to school or work. It sure is an interesting dichotomy. 

The crisis comes often from the woman pondering new things she might do but failing to get excited about any of them. The path is unclear. Even the Christian woman who has God leading her can end up feeling she's in a rut. No one has taught her what comes next. 

Some women in crisis benefit from receiving guidance from those who've been there. I don't propose to have the kind of answer you think you'll get. No one can tell you assuredly, "Do this and you'll be happy." No, I have found it's more like a life phase you have to walk through on your own. 

But since crisis feelings are so "thought-driven", just reading the right thing, at the right time,  may help a woman snap back into "hope". That is my goal with this blog--to help shine some light for midlife Christian Women. To help get them from the place in the dark industrial photo above to a new brighter place.



Where to Start


No two people will agree on the path to take, but I will offer these suggestions that may help you: 

Wake up and put on a happy face:

It's easy to let negative thoughts seep into your mind first thing in the morning.  A night of hot flashes, new muscle stiffness, and so on, can make a woman miserable and self-focused as well.  

It might take effort, but it is important to train yourself to think positive, happy thoughts right from the get-go.  

Smile, look out the window and enjoy beauty, sing a tune, read something inspirational, go outdoors if you can even for just a few minutes. 

Focus on God: 

Give your bad mood to God to handle, then listen to what he says. Ask him to guide how you spend your time and energy. Read devotional books or online devotionals. Connecting with God will renew your spirit. You'll feel more peace. 

Schedule something:  

Creating a routine of some sort can make a difference in how you feel.  Your morning routine might include coffee time, journal writing and prayer, feeding the wildbirds, stretching, reading, exercising or walking the dog.

Later, if you don't have a paid job outside the home, you might work on a course you've signed up for, apply for jobs, visit a friend, run an errand, enjoy a hobby, or complete a chore.  

No matter what you choose, plan it into your day for a certain time.  Schedules give life framework. 

Believe the truth that God still has assignments for you:  

The Holy Spirit walks beside you and will reveal your next steps.  Your next step may not be obvious or on your schedule, meaning you may take a detour from your routine. Listen for nudges throughout your day for such a detour.  

Dream about what God might be calling you to.  Visualize it happening. 

Go investigating:  

Work with a life purpose coach on finding out who you are at this stage of life.  Sign up for a course.  Try volunteering.  Take steps. Promise yourself not to judge them prematurely or harshly. The steps you take may not be the answer to fill your void, but the steps you take might bring you closer to the answer.

Embrace obstacles as opportunities:  

Obstacles and setbacks are an inevitable part of life.  You may need stop, rest, and lay low for a time.

Wait for your energy and motivation to return. Give it time. The Lord will raise you back up. 

Don’t be tempted to believe nothing will change or get better. Trust that all things are working out for your good according to God's plan.  

These are starting tips to build momentum into your life as a midlife Christian woman. Accept the idea you are in a phase that isn't spelled out like past phases. Commit to walking through the phase with expectancy. Trust the Lord and trust yourself a day at a time. 



Filling the Void with Something New


(a revamped version of article from 2012) 

As a midlife woman you may be looking for the right set of stairs to take--the right answer to help you out of your dilemma.  You know there is a dilemma because you feel unmotivated or in a quandary,  but maybe you just can't pinpoint why you feel as you do or what the solution is.

Midlife tends to bring a lot of  "stuff" to a head.  You are at a place of looking back on the phase of raising your children.  It's a phase that's finished.  You are in the place of needing to redevelop a relationship with your spouse--one that might have become clouded over the years.  You may have just left a job, been laid off or are finally child-free and ready to get on with a job outside the home.  Some of your peers are retiring while you're trying to get going.

Women are living longer these days.  If you are 50 you may have another 40 plus years of life to fill.  Don't quit now!

WHAT IS IT?

So how do you find what it is?  Well the fact that you're looking for it is a good start.  Along with looking should come experimenting.

It can be hard to know if you should sign up for a course, take a job, work from home in some way, babysit, volunteer, clean houses and so on.  Maybe there isn't just one specific interest that jumps out at you.

Measuring a choice by a predictable outcome can stall you.  If you assume writing from your desk, let's say, will get you nowhere so you don't spend time doing it, you short-change yourself.  It is only by jumping into the world of writing, putting it online or trying to sell it that you will find out if it goes anywhere.

Paths may not open in the way you assume they will.  A new path may not become clear until you put yourself into action.

The assumption that cleaning houses will be dead-ended can only proven after trying it.  You may end up cleaning the house of someone who sees more talent in you than you do and who moves you into something new.

The point is, it's easy to want quick answers.  It's easy to make assumptions that prohibit you from getting off the ground.  Chances are you will face disappointment and be tempted to assume there is nothing out there for you.

What you need to do, though, is move, try, do, investigate without presumption.  


Prayer:  Dear God, 

Thank you for bringing me through life to this point.
I now commit my days to you.
Help me accept the path you have me on.
Help me give myself permission to lay low if necessary.
Change my life in any way that is not pleasing to you.
Grant me energy to take on new tasks.
I long to have meaning and fulfillment at this stage of life, show me the right set of stairs to take.
Mend my relationships and help me feel love and joy all the rest of my days. 
Present to me opportunities to take courses, to try new things, or even do paid work that is your design.
Give me the courage to proceed.
Help me to realize change is always possible and to resist locking myself into anything. 
Lord I'm going to trust you now, even this very day, to show me a glimpse of your hand in my life.
Thank you, Lord for loving me and carrying me through life.

AMEN