Are You in a Midlife Rut?

Are you a Christian woman who loves God but feels stuck in a rut where your personal life is concerned? 

I completely understand the concept of a Christian woman experiencing a midlife crisis. When she was younger, she had her whole life ahead of her. However, as she enters midlife, lots of changes have occurred. 

Some mothers are ready to move on, but their teenage children still need them. I ran the van shuttles, helped shop for prom and grad dresses, drove my daughter to dance classes and son to band practices, arranged for the inlaws to fly in and stay with us in time for my daughter's high school graduation and undertook the prep work for moving our home that would happen a few weeks later. I was busy. But I hadn't moved on in life yet. I dreamt that the upcoming move would solve the answer to my midlife query of what to do with myself in my next life stage that would be fulfilling--where I'd be seen, heard, acknowledged and, perhaps,  paid what I'm worth. 

I trusted God's timing and knew God had ordained our last move. But after our move, I still had to organize the new house, settle each kid into university dorms and run to fetch the kids or bring them groceries for another several years. I didn't just go off to work like many women do though I was able to sell content articles as a freelance writer and do part-time transcription work from home. Those ARE jobs, but in my mind, they were not ideal jobs. I didn't give myself credit due. And part of the reason was because I was still behind my own four walls. I even wrote under pen names. And, what I really needed was socialization to help me feel seen and valuable.    

Not all parents are as doting as I've been, but putting parenting first was a priority I couldn't shake. And in that role, though I knew it was where I needed to be, I felt hidden like a nobody.  

And I see now that over the years I was constantly fighting the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and feeling life was passing me by. Yet, I really was living the life of my dreams.  

Accept Yourself 

Finally, I decided that striving to find a greater calling was a stronghold. Focusing on what I didn't have dragged me down more than uplifted me. I would be better off accepting the life God had spelled out for me and telling myself I was enough. 

I've thought of writing a book on acceptance because we are constantly bombarded by self-improvement advice that tells us to change and fix ourselves. But peace is found in noticing the good we carry out and accepting where God has placed us, not fighting it. 

Over time, I have learned to observe my body's behaviour in relation to eating, sleeping, energy, and enjoyment as I started getting more time for myself. As a result, I have created a routine that includes sleeping in, two-hour coffee time after waking with some reading and browsing the internet, followed by completing tasks and dedicating time to work on my passions.

I came to the realization that everything I dedicate my time to can be considered my job. By viewing my life as a calling, responsibility, and job, I am able to create a framework that allows me to better prioritize and focus on what needs to be done, and I am at peace.