Midlife is a transformative phase for every woman, characterized by its own set of challenges and desires. In this blog post, we'll explore the key aspects of this journey and offer guidance specifically tailored for Christian women who may feel stuck in a rut during this crucial life stage.
Understanding Midlife
Midlife typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 52, but individual experiences vary. Some women, during that phase, find themselves battling low moods and symptoms of perimenopause. Many women in that phase begin to re-evaluate their life. A midlife crisis might begin for some--a type of rut they don't know how to get out of. Often looking back at the past is involved, yet it's equally about uncertainty of the future.
Discovering What You Seek:
Many Christian women in midlife long for change. They may feel a sense of monotony or yearn for new mental stimulation.
Shifting priorities as children grow or leave home can leave them feeling overlooked or unsure of where they fit into life.
Some women miss the vitality of youth, the thrill of new beginnings, or the pursuit of passion, either romantically or in their careers.
Others grapple with unfulfilled dreams, leading to feelings of disappointment and sadness.
The quest for meaning and fulfillment is a common thread amongst midlife women, yet some still find themselves lost and uncertain about where to begin.
If any of this describes you, don't worry. What you're feeling is normal. It's a life transition phase. What you need to do is walk through it with faith.
Build a support team. Mine included my family doctor, a mental health therapist, online friends, and multiple resources I could turn to including many books and articles.
Overcoming Midlife Challenges
Three common challenges can be explored to help a woman make sense of midlife crisis feelings:
a. Rehearsing the Past: I acknowledge the allure of nostalgia but stress the importance of looking forward to new opportunities rather than longing for bygone days aligning your thoughts and choices with the wisdom found in the Bible. Philippians 3:13 gives us great advice. It says to forget what is in the past and reach out or look forward to what lies ahead.
Cherish past memories, don't cling to them. God is doing a new thing in your life now.
b. Gaining Perspective: Committing your way to God and trusting His guidance is crucial. You need not have all the answers; living in the present moment and seeking divine guidance daily can pave the way.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
c. Understanding Your Personality Traits: Personality plays a significant role in midlife experiences. Embracing your unique traits, whether introverted, extroverted, or otherwise, is essential. It's time to know who you are and accept who you are, rather than seeking to change your basic traits.
Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Society's expectations should not dictate your self-worth. Be yourself with a focus on having a Christ-like character. The Apostle Paul in Galatians 5:22-23 suggests these traits: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.” These apply to introverts, extroverts, loners, and social butterflies.
A Self-Exploration Exercise:
I invite you to reflect on your personality style, whether you're an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between. Identify any external pressures that have shaped your self-perception that it's time to let go of.
Question: What self-talk is it time to let go of?
Answer: _______________________________
Assess what aspects of yourself you should embrace without guilt.
Question: What is a trait I have that I should embrace?
Answer: _______________________________
Stop Trying to Fix Yourself:
There are so many voices out there calling us (mostly in social media) to fix ourselves. And while therapy is good, instead of digging for what we need to fix, maybe it's time to look at what we do well. Maybe there is nothing wrong with our life. Maybe we are exactly where God wants us.
Appreciating how God made you and what he has given you will give you more confidence.
Based on what you know about your values, passions, beliefs, and gifts, think carefully about what you should say "yes" to. Decline what doesn't fit you.
When you start to look back into the past, switch the dialogue in your head.
Invite God into each day. Let him go to work for you.
Conclusion:
Your midlife journey as a Christian woman is a unique and deeply personal experience. You can navigate transitions with grace and purpose by understanding the challenges and desires specific to this life phase, embracing your personality, and seeking guidance from your faith.
I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section. It is helpful to foster a community of support and encouragement as we all journey through midlife and beyond together.
