Tap into New Vision as You Navigate the Empty Nest and Midlife

In midlife, women face new challenges.  Often life as they've known it changes.  Children head off to university, college, move out, or marry. Home dynamics change, often for a time, as some adult children return home to live again. 

The husband and wife relationship may feel different during these changes.  A midlife woman may feel both a sense of relief that she's finished one phase of life, while at the same time experience periods of grief or melancholy knowing the kids are grown up. Relating to adult children becomes a new game a mom may find challenging.

Change is sometimes uncomfortable, but necessary.

Change in the Nest-Emptying Years 

While some husbands want to wind down in midlife and the nest-emptying years, a midlife woman is known for wanting to reboot her life. She might contemplate going back to school, changing jobs, or re-entering the workforce since the children are no longer encroaching on her life. 

But it isn't as easy moving on in the nest-emptying phase as a good 'theory' may suggest. A woman is older. She may have a huge paid-work gap in her resume. Ageism abounds in the workplace, and an older midlife woman will be overlooked in favor of younger women most of the time. A woman's body may be challenged. Perhaps she tires easily. Or, a job standing on her feet all day is too physically demanding now.

While many midlife women go on a search for that 'new thing' that excites them or to pour themselves into, the search can be met with frustration. That doesn't mean searching is wrong. Just do your search with proper expectations. 

 

A Frustration Story 

When we were about to be job transferred for the third time in 20 years, I looked online for glimpses of what I might discover in the new location. I was, by then a paid content writer and certified life coach, but I'd also had a dream of one day working in a community centre where I could use my life coaching skills. When I saw a Christian-based community centre near my new home, I got excited. 

When God gives glimmers, I pursue them. So I applied to volunteer at the centre between my writing work and driving my teen son to school and his work. 

My motivations for applying to be a volunteer were many. I wanted to be out of the house where I could meet new people and feel part of the community. I wanted to start my next adventure to fulfill a long-term longing for feeling like a valuable contributor to society. I hoped it would one day work into a paid job.

But I quickly learned the vision I had of using my life coaching skills with community centre clients would not come true. 

I was put in a little office by myself to do computer work. There would be no interaction with clients. And, in but a short time, I was told I could do the work from home--exactly what I didn't want to do. And then the centre closed permanently. 

It's not the first frustration or death-of-a-dream I have suffered as a midlife woman looking for meaningful connections and something to sink my teeth into. I could share umpteen similar experiences. 

Does this sound familiar to you?

If you have met with dream busters or a lack of focus in knowing where to put yourself next in midlife, I offer you these tips. 

1. Know that many women feel as you do.
2. Changes can make you feel uncomfortable, you aren't manufacturing those feelings.
3. It's okay to not have the answer.
4. It's okay to seek professional help.
5. Searching for answers can be a healthy activity as long as you don't dwell on the disappointments you'll encounter.
6. God is still right there with you.
7. God still has a plan for you.
8. God will help you make the best use of your time and energy if you invite him into each day.
9. Choosing to trust God and live content is the best choice over striving and discontented living.
10. You are beautiful, talented, and lovable and will find joy once you practice looking for it.
11. Stay resilient. Get back up after something fails (and it will). 

How do you navigate these mixed midlife crisis feelings?

First, to deal with mixed midlife crisis feelings, it is paramount you recognize the enemy (Satan) will attack you at your point of vulnerability or weakness. And he'll do it often.  He will try to undermine your marriage, relationships, and your mindset. The enemy will speak discouraging thoughts to you more than you will ever be fully aware of.  

It is very important during this midlife phase to put on spiritual armor.  Employ tactics that will keep you spiritually strong that includes praying, reading scripture, and devouring devotionals or other books by Christian writers.  

Stay aware of negative voices when they pop into your head, and use cognitive behaviour techniques to switch them off.  


Lies of the Enemy

The enemy is very convincing.  He'll get you to say things like, "I feel like a nobody, I feel unappreciated, maybe I should leave my husband..." that type of thing.  But just because the complaints include "I" doesn't mean they're true.  

How you think will affect how you feel and will affect the next things you do.  Be vigilant about not listening to negative voices.  Stop them immediately!

Practical Steps

Here are a few more practical steps you can take in navigating your way through your midlife journey.

• Express your feelings in a journal.  
• Write your worries into prayers and commit them to God.
• Tell a friend how you're feeling.
• Hire a life coach or sign on for counseling.
• Focus on what is going well.

 Use Your Right Brain

Now, here is something I'd like you to try next.  This exercise will tap into your creative right brain.  It will give you a shift in thinking which, hopefully, will help you work through some troubling feelings.

(Some people are more right-brained than others.  Nevertheless, it can help every person to tap into their right brain.  Think about how we all love music.  Music taps into the right brain.  So does art, beauty, and physical movement.)

It might be said the right brain fuels the left brain--the thinking side.  YES!  We do want to fuel that thinking side.  

RIGHT BRAIN EXERCISE

Make a Positive-Thinking Vision Board 

• Gather magazines, scissors, a glue stick and poster paper or card stock.
• As you flip through your positive-thinking books, scriptures, or devotionals, write helpful quotes from them onto your poster.
• (If you have Joyce Meyer magazines, you'll find great quotes in there to cut out.)   
• Use colourful markers for your writing, or cut words out of magazines.
• Decorate the paper around your quotes.
• Add magazine pictures that make you feel alive, hopeful, and cheerful. 
• Tap into romance and beauty by choosing pictures that evoke those ideas--flowers, hearts, sparkly items, and so on. 

Cut, glue, write, and decorate your 
vision board.  
View it.  
Share it with someone.  
Hang it where you can see it often. 

 

A few vision boards I created this past spring.
These are not the ones with the Joyce Meyer
quotes or Bible Verses.

If you do this exercise, I'd love to hear how it went. Did you pray first? Did you hear from God as you looked for quotes or photos? Did adding colour or decorations help you feel more alive? 

For $33 Cdn you will receive an email coaching session where you can share your experience and I will reply.  Tell me where you are in your life journey and what you have put on your vision board.  You can even send me a photo.  Talking about it will help reinforce it and perhaps spark new ideas.  Contact me at this email address to initiate this process. You will pay by paypal or e-transfer (to a different email address) prior to 3 email replies.

  

Triggered by Your Adult Children's Decisions?

 

(Repost from 2019) (53)

Midlife, nest-emptying time, having adult children living at home or returning to the nest--are all situations parents walk through. It's part of the letting go process.

Over the past few years and going forward, I've been learning about letting go, living in the moment, training my thoughts, and rebuilding life. But it hasn't all been peaceful. At times, I've faced situations and felt great stress. And I've had to figure out how to deal with the challenges. 

When things come to a head, we sometimes need support. It's okay to ask for a friend's input. It's also okay to sign on for life coaching or mental health therapy. 


WATCH FOR TRIGGERS

My therapist helped me walk through past situations--things I'd stuffed down and not shared with another person. They were triggered as I saw my daughter making her own decisions. 

(Many of us women had turbulent times whether in teen years, early 20s, or onward. We had relationship issues, made choices we regret, and so on. The negative effects of those issues can affect us when our own children reach a similar stage.) 

As we see our children making life-altering decisions, we want them to not make the mistakes we have. We want our former pain and difficulty to have a purpose. Often, we think that the purpose of our past trauma is to help us warn our kids. But chances are, our adult kids don't want to hear our warnings. They'll take steps we don't agree with anyhow.

When I became stressed and anxiety-laden (accompanied by horrific tinnitus and panic attacks), I connected it to some issues I needed to deal with MYSELF. They had to do with my own past. They were affecting my perception of the present and the resultant stress was affecting my health. 

So I dealt with them one by one with weekly appointments with a therapist. 

The therapist gave me tools and permission to let my adult children go. My health and personal peace was important to preserve. 

The Bible tells us to forget the former things so that God can do a new thing. Once we've dealt with former things, we can dismiss the remembrance of them as soon as they try to take place in our present again. 

I've been dismissing thoughts left and right. I've been claiming each day as new. I've been tossing out the temptation to become frustrated by what my adult children do. It's their turn to make their own decisions and mistakes.

• Do these tips help you? 
• Is there stuff in your past you need to deal with? If so, how will you go about it? 
• Can you imagine how freeing it will be to let your children make their own decisions? 

Are You Feeling Cast Down and Stuck in a Midlife Crisis?

 

Are you feeling stuck as though you're in a midlife crisis?  Are you wondering if there is more to life?  Are you suddenly overtaken by fear of a less-than-wonderful future?

Midlife crisis feelings can mount up on a woman from seemingly nowhere and for many reasons. Women are usually deep thinkers and feelers. They deal with hormonal shifts that affect their moods. They are nurturers but also crave independence and stature. Perimenopause's hormonal shifts is one very huge cause of such feelings. 

Feelings of being stuck hit me often throughout my time raising children and being a wife. I didn't know where to assign blame or who to reach out to for help. At times like this, we want pain relief. We want to fix ourselves. We don't feel like we are enough. We search for answers. 

Looking back now, I know it would have been better to learn mindfulness tips and to adopt contentment. But we are human. Human issues plague us.

I was a child of God. I prayed all the time. I participated in church meetings and bible studies. But there were moments when I felt deflated and empty. I longed for a sense of happiness and vitality that seemed elusive. In my pursuit of fulfillment, I found myself channeling excessive energy into managing my children, perhaps becoming overly involved. It became clear that I needed a more invigorating outlet to pour myself into.

Depression?

Was it depression? Was I feeling as I was because we'd moved too much and I failed to rebuild my network? Was it because I'd chosen to be an at-home mom leaving the paid workforce and I was stagnating? Was it because every part-time job I applied to failed?Is it because I craved significant church ministry and every attempt soured? Was I simply lonely? Was it my hormones? I suspect it was a combination of all the above. 

If you're fighting these kinds of feelings, I would like to share a few realizations I hope will help you:

One is that all humans suffer from what you might call a restless heart. It is that spot that needs God's peace, guidance, and comfort. We are human so are vulnerable to all that is in the fallen world. We are vulnerable to depression, mental illness, attacks of Satan, hurts from other humans, disappointments in life, injuries, illnesses, you name it. To deny such is to be a Pollyanna (Pollyanna refers to an excessively unrealistic optimistic person, sometimes to the point of being naive or oblivious to negative aspects of a situation.)

As humans, we tend to default to negativism. Thoughts and regrets of our past resurface without invitation. Taking our thoughts captive needs to be a daily exercise. But it can be exhausting without adequate social supports.

Because of our vulnerability combined with the personality God gave us, we need him even more to help us find the best path for our life. 

But most of us who are believers have dedicated ourselves to him for his use. What we have trouble accepting is where we are--the life he has chosen for us. We fight it. We question our self-worth too much. And with good reason. The outside world makes a lot of noise. Other women look down on us or make comments about our choices. Social media causes us to feel jealous or like we don't measure up. 

Confidence in our choices is better. Trusting God's plan is better. Self-acceptance is key. 

Happiness is fleeting. Moodiness can overwhelm us at any time. We weren't made to be in a perpetual life of happiness, but to seek contentment. Peace and contentment within ourselves is a gift from God that can be found when we are in relationship with him.

And sometimes, we have setbacks. I remember a period in life in my 40s when I felt I had no vision. I was relationship-starved though married. I was affirmation-starved. I was given no gold stars, no headlines, no paycheck. I was simply thriving. 

I had no new dreams to propel me forward. I was tired of trying to make my dream of life coaching in a church setting lift off the ground. No church near me would embrace the concept, and since I was an introvert with few connections in high places, my heart's desire for a ministry of that nature would never see the light of day. I didn't understand why God would give me such desires and have the door slammed in my face so many times. (I won't go into detail.) 

Another example is when God decided to give my husband another job transfer--back closer to family. For a time, we were able to enjoy visits from my elderly mother and have extended family over for pool parties and dinners. I didn't have to work so hard for that sense of peace. And then, in 2020, mom passed, and many negative events occurred to destroy our relationships. BOOM! Just like that, I'm having to rebuild yet again. 

I will never understand why God leaves us in the world with great dreams and visions but lets us flounder. I have no clue why so many people in this world are deluded, mean, and ill-spirited. But that's how it seems to be. So if you're floundering, take heart. You aren't alone. 

Know this, God loves you and approves of you no matter what outside sources tell you. God is love, so cling to him. Love yourself! Pursue peace and love in all you do. And apply these tips going forward: 

1. Stop asking why. 

2. Train your mind to see the good in life and dismiss negative thinking.

3. Pray for God's spirit to give you joy and faith so that you won't always feel cast down.

4. Ask God if you should talk to your doctor about possible depression solutions, increase your vitamin D, hire a counsellor, or reach out to someone to talk to.

5. Put your expectations into check. Get rid of black-and-white thinking and live in the grey zone.

6. Realize that everything in life is for a time and season. Most seasons are short.

7. Pray for God to give you a spirit of contentment.  

Even in your darkest days when your mood goes low, when you experience grief, loss, anger, and so on, acknowledge your feelings. It's okay to feel sad now and then. But hang on to trust in God and to hope. 

Your calling in life isn't to do some great job with a big title, it is simply to be part of God's plans and purposes. It is to connect to God and to promote God and his work. It is to be a good steward of all God has blessed you with. 

So don't wander off looking for a new man, a different job, a separation, or divorce. Don't be hasty to tear down what you've already built. 

Keep doing the last thing God told you to do until he reveals something new to do. 

And be content with the mundane life you have because that's where most of us find ourselves daily. 

Journalling is Good for You

Keeping journals is important to me. In them, I write revelations. I record things happening in my life. I record prayer requests. I write excerpts from books I found helpful and jot down bible verses.

The real treasures in journal keeping include these points: 

1. It helps release thoughts.

2. It acknowledges the prayers of the heart.

3. Readings are reinforced through writing them out.

4. It gives a place to jot down dreams and heart's desires.

5. It is a form of communication with God.

6. Going back to re-read a journal shows you your life journey.

7. Going back to re-read your prayers allows you to see which ones were answered.

8. Important insights you collected, when re-read, help you in your today life.

9. Your journal becomes a neat (but sometimes messy) life roadmap. 

I like this style of journal I ordered through Amazon. They are 6" x 8" coil bound. 

(I have a Facebook friend who uses an online app for her journalling. She prefers to type out her thoughts and it is encrypted. If that suits you better, do that.)

 

Life Beyond Children As they Grow

Are you at a point in your life where it is obvious your children need you less?  Do you sense a void?

I recall that feeling when my children were about 10 and 12 years old. I had been a fulltime at-home mom most of their life so the feeling to move onto something new was glaring. Yet, I was stuck not knowing which way to turn. I was still needed by them--to keep them on schedule, to feed them, to shop for them, to drive them where they needed to go--but I was desperate to get out and do something for myself. It's a common feeling. And it isn't one easily solved. 

Maybe you're now approaching the empty nest. Are you a little fearful of life in the empty nest? 

In my research, I've discovered it isn't just the stay-at-home mom that feels her very life being ripped from her side as her children grow and mature, it is all moms who've cared for their children, working moms and at-home moms alike. Though most won't admit it publicly, I'm sure most moms experience waves of chaotic feelings wash over them. And it's not wrong to have mixed emotions. Moms are nurturers. Having and raising children was a big deal. Putting her own interests aside for years to be there for the children was huge. 

The feelings and deciding what to do about them can be intense for some.

WHAT TO DO

It's easy to fear the future, but doing so doesn't help. And finding your next big adventure may not be easy--no matter how much you trust in God to show it to you.

You see, we have ideas in our minds for how life should unfold, but God often has different ideas. His answers, in my experience, are rarely instant. And they are rarely spelled out in full and long term. 

What is key is the right attitude. You can either have a pity party and doubt anything new is on the horizon, or you can trust you are right where God wants you and live out the duties right in front of you until something new crops up.  

The fruit of the spirit includes the makings of a good attitude and brings contentment. And contentment is gold. 

A ROADMAP

If you're looking for a roadmap as you attempt to move forward in your next life phase, you are welcome to use this list as a guide:

1. Face your feelings. Tap into what is troubling you. Grieve the changes, cry if you need to, journal your thoughts and questions. Get it all out.  Acknowledging your feelings is helpful. 

2. Don't get stuck there though.  If you find you're stuck there, seek the help of a therapist, life coach, other professional, or close friend.  

3. Remember that God is near to the brokenhearted and those who are crushed in spirit. Give him your burdens and then decide you will move on in faith. 

4. Start each day fresh. Don't bring yesterday's worries into today. 

5. Work on your body by stretching, lifting weights, or going for walks. Get outside and enjoy nature. 

6. Try activities that may help boost your self-esteem. That may include more frequent showers, updates to your cosmetics cabinet, a new hair colour, a new article of clothing, and redecorating your space.

7. Consider that all the little jobs you do matter in the bigger scheme of life whether they are mundane and boring or not. Even if you're not paid to do housework, it is a job--an important one.  

8.  Consider getting a pet.  Having a dog to walk or cat to cuddle and care for can help you transfer your need to nurture. If you're not into pets, try growing seeds or houseplants. You'll be required to nurture them too.  

9. Work on eliminating clutter to prepare your home space as somewhere you want to be for your next life phase. Donating what is no longer needed and organizing your space can be therapeutic. 

10.  When new ideas come, capture them. Make a list.  Even if you don't pursue them now you might want to in the future, so jot them down.  

11. God is great at putting new ideas into a person's mind and heart. Ask him for new vision. Listen for his still small voice.

12.  Look for opportunities to meet new people.  Join a church group, a walking group, or a gym group that works out together. Others need you just as much as you need them. They might also help link you to a new job or hobby.  

13.  Look into courses.  Upgrade rusty skills.  Learn things you need to know in this era of technology. 

14.  Try a new hobby or restart an old one.  What is it time to return to?

15.  Apply for jobs.  You'll never know if one's a good fit until you try.  

16.  Make the most of every opportunity. Talk to others when you are standing in line. Be open and friendly. 

No, the road beyond motherhood is not simple and easy, but God will instruct you and teach you where to go even if it is in what feels like baby steps. 

One of my pet cats over the years.

Learn About Your Personality and Serve God with It

Today's goal was to get to the pharmacy to pickup prescriptions. Now that I have a few medical issues, that is a regular adventure. But I'm glad I switched to a community pharmacy where my name is known and I'm warmly greeted. And, it's close to home. 

The more life moves on as we age, the more difficult it seems to find new friends or social connections. So I value short conversations with people like my pharmacist. Do you?

And as I was driving, thoughts flooded my mind. I find that happens in the shower and on walks too. These breaks in my day, when I pull away from the computer screen--and for many of you it would be your phone--is when life is processed.

I'd been reading comments on a Twitter (X) thread just before heading out. A woman had asked a question to others who are retired. She seemed to feel like every day in her life recently was the same as the day before and wondered if other retirees felt the same.

And as I drove later, I thought about my interactions on social media and life in general and the idea that most of us simply want to know we aren't the only one feeling as we do. Hearing someone share their struggles helps us. 

The more time I spend reading a variety of online material, the more I see that is where the most vulnerable thoughts are being shared. 

I thought about the feedback this woman was given. Some of it was great. Much resonated with me since I now call myself semi-retired. But some advice wasn't so great. That is often the type of advice from a person who hasn't walked in our shoes--who is not in the same life phase--or who has a different personality style. 

Personality Style 

I've been reading lately to learn more about my personality style. For far too long I figured there was something wrong with me. I was a shy child and only now do I know the term 'social anxiety'. I had it then, but instead of others understanding, I was teased about it. Since I have a son with it, I have a greater understanding. I don't push and prod him. I also have a daughter who is an extrovert. And I'm happy with how she lives her life. 

It is easy to feel like an oddball based on our personality type. But God made us each unique for his own purposes. Why should we criticize what God has made?

I pushed myself into being what they call an ambivert, by my 30s, but inside I'm still an introvert. The pandemic living proved it. I liked being home. 

Having transitioned from being a full-time mom to working freelance from home, I marveled at how well I navigated being home so much. Yes, I find joy in the security of my nest and appreciate the freedom to express my creativity without the constraints of criticism or office politics as I might experience in an office job. It's only now that I realize it's an intrinsic part of who I am, a design by God.

Instead of listening to advice from extroverts about all the wonderful things they think I should be doing like travelling, playing cards with the locals, and joining a 5K running group, I am focusing on embracing the way God made me. 

I enjoy long periods of deep thought, solitude, prayer, or meditative thinking. I prefer deep conversations online and in person and despise salesy type networking talk. I'm realistic about my flaws and try more and more to admit when I'm wrong. I spend my free time on creative aspects like creating artwork, taking photos, and writing. 

Watch Your Advice

Extroverts on the thread I read today came across as a little scolding--but that's my sensitive nature reacting. Some told the original poster (OP) that she needed to get out more, that her brain and body needed more stimulation, and went on to brag about their travels. I doubt any of these people knew this person personally and she hadn't shared many details about what else she does each day so it seemed a little judgmental to me. 

I tend to shudder when people use terms like "you need to" and "you should". Maybe a person doesn't need to do this or that. A favourite saying of mine is this: 

Just because a person CAN do something, doesn't mean they SHOULD do it.

Ask God What He Wants You to Do 

What matters is living life according to what God wants you to do.   

Psalm 139:16  “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” (NLT). 

We are on earth to be reconciled to God, to listen for his voice, and to obey him. 

"Fear God and keep His commandments, because this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13, BSB).

There is no higher purpose than being a servant of the King of the universe (see Psalm 84:10).

Honour Your Uniqueness 

God created us each with a unique personality. He can use all of it. We will love others, encourage others, be a blessing, and serve God in the ways he has designed us to. But to be effective in his service, it's important we maintain a healthy self-image. To go forward with confidence and not self-doubt. 

That is something I'm working on. Are you?

I want to see myself as God's handiwork and see myself as he sees me. No self-loathing. No criticism. And I am working on believing the still small voice that tells me 

You're doing a good job, 

You're a hard worker, 

 God loves you immensely. 

I am leaning on trusting him to work out issues I might be tempted to worry about. I am leaning on him to work behind the scenes putting new opportunities in place for me. 

We are “God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). 

How can you look at your personality style and use it in God's work? 

Keys to Reinvention in Midlife

Where are you in your midlife journey? Are you content, peaceful, and grateful? Or are you plagued with a restlessness you can't quite put your finger on?

Midlife can be a period of significant change and introspection for many women. There are umpteen reasons why midlife women might feel restless or experience bouts of boredom during this life stage.

It's important to note that these feelings can vary greatly from person to person, and not all women will experience them in the same way. Some common reasons for restlessness or boredom in midlife women include these: 

Empty Nest Syndrome: When children leave home or become more independent, mothers may experience a sense of loss and emptiness.

Career Stagnation: Some women may feel unfulfilled in their careers, especially if they've been doing the same job for a long time. This can lead to a desire for new challenges and opportunities.

Relationship Changes: Midlife often brings changes in relationships creating a sense of uncertainty and restlessness.

Physical Changes: The physical changes that come with menopause such as hormonal fluctuations and changes in appearance can impact a woman's self-esteem and contribute to restlessness or boredom.

Reevaluation of Life Goals: Midlife often prompts women to reevaluate their life path. Evaluation tends to take place. But too much introspection can lead to unecessary restlessness. Accepting the idea you are on God's path and that He thinks you've done a good job may be more helpful.

Loss of Purpose: Some women who have devoted a significant part of their lives to caregiving might struggle to find a new sense of purpose.

Health Concerns: Midlife can bring about health challenges, and dealing with issues like chronic illnesses or other health concerns including needed surgeries can be taxing.

Social Isolation: As children grow and a woman's social circles changes, women might experience a sense of social isolation, contributing to restlessness. 

Lack of New Challenges: Some women may feel that life has become too routine lacking new and stimulating challenges.

Existential Reflection: Midlife often prompts deep existential questions about the meaning of life and one's place in the world.  

Societal Pressures: Society often places expectations on women to maintain youthful appearances and continuously achieve in various life areas. These pressures can lead to a woman making comparisons to others which leads to restlessness and dissatisfaction.

On top of the above-noted in-depth causes of restlessness, a good summary is this: 

A common pursuit of many midlife 

women is to find life's "Holy Grail". 

This 'Holy Grail' might be typified by the words happiness, success, and fulfillment.  The search for this Holy Grail becomes more desperate to the midlife woman because she realizes she's been feeling less happiness, success, joy, and fulfillment lately. Life is moving quickly, and time is running out.  She knows she's sacrificed a lot for others and wonders: what is there for me? 

She may ask, shouldn't she have found my most excellent path by now?

When we consider God's will and ways, finding the Holy Grail as listed above isn't what He desires.  Perhaps this is why finding it is so elusive, because we were never intended to focus so much on these things--happiness, success, and fulfillment. Nor were we intended to focus on material pleasures and other cares of this world. 

Jesus did come to bring us abundant life, and he takes great joy in giving us good gifts. Make no mistake about that. But his utmost desire is for us to love him and others, seek his wisdom, and to be available for his purposes.  He encourages us to stir up our gifts, to abide with him, to be in fellowship with other believers, and to keep learning, growing, and maturing. 

Roles Change

All through life our roles change by sheer virtue of aging. Our careers change. Relationships change. Our children’s lives change. There is no stopping the process. 

There is no graduation ceremony for moms, so to speak.  There are no textbooks for a woman to study to spell out what is next. So often the restlessness moms feel is fear of the unknown. Wondering what lies ahead; sensing a need to reinvent themselves but at a loss to know how to do so. 

 

Are You Reinventing Yourself?

The search for re-invention and reinvigoration is an ongoing process. So let it be a 'process' without a predictable end in sight. To do this well, you'll need to learn to live in the moment, not the past, and not in fear of the future. You'll need to resist being hasty or judgmental. That is, walk through new circumstances without evaluating them harshly. Just let what is be what it is. 

When doubts assail you, refocus your thoughts on the present moment and be thankful for all you have. AND...STAY HOPEFUL. 

Here are a few more intentional steps you may want to take as you pursue your next life phase of reinvention:

1. Review the significant stages of your life thus far, if you haven't already. Divide them into chapters.  Look at God's hand all through each phase and be thankful. 

2. What chapter are you about to begin now? Be creative and give your next chapter a fancy title. 

3. In a journal, write a long list of questions to God about the upcoming chapter.

4. Ask God to put new desires into your heart.

5. Ask God to show you some simple steps to take on your desires.

6. Read a few devotional books as well as sections from a Bible and make note of what speaks to you that seems to coincide with your journal entries.

7. In the days ahead, look for confirmations and answers to your questions.

8. Search the Internet and take notes on what you find that spells out possibilities of new adventures. 

9. Work on adding regular exercise and fresh air into your routine.  

10. Come up with five to 10 words that describe you right now. 

Philippians 2:13 

"For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."

What have you done lately to reinvent yourself? 

What tips do you have for others?

Quote by Tammy J. Hernandez