Are you at a point in your life where it is obvious your children need you less? Do you sense a void?
I recall that feeling when my children were about 10 and 12 years old. I had been a fulltime at-home mom most of their life so the feeling to move onto something new was glaring. Yet, I was stuck not knowing which way to turn. I was still needed by them--to keep them on schedule, to feed them, to shop for them, to drive them where they needed to go--but I was desperate to get out and do something for myself. It's a common feeling. And it isn't one easily solved.
Maybe you're now approaching the empty nest. Are you a little fearful of life in the empty nest?
In my research, I've discovered it isn't just the stay-at-home mom that feels her very life being ripped from her side as her children grow and mature, it is all moms who've cared for their children, working moms and at-home moms alike. Though most won't admit it publicly, I'm sure most moms experience waves of chaotic feelings wash over them. And it's not wrong to have mixed emotions. Moms are nurturers. Having and raising children was a big deal. Putting her own interests aside for years to be there for the children was huge.
The feelings and deciding what to do about them can be intense for some.
WHAT TO DO
It's easy to fear the future, but doing so doesn't help. And finding your next big adventure may not be easy--no matter how much you trust in God to show it to you.
WHAT TO DO
It's easy to fear the future, but doing so doesn't help. And finding your next big adventure may not be easy--no matter how much you trust in God to show it to you.
You see, we have ideas in our minds for how life should unfold, but God often has different ideas. His answers, in my experience, are rarely instant. And they are rarely spelled out in full and long term.
What is key is the right attitude. You can either have a pity party and doubt anything new is on the horizon, or you can trust you are right where God wants you and live out the duties right in front of you until something new crops up.
4. Start each day fresh. Don't bring yesterday's worries into today.
8. Consider getting a pet. Having a dog to walk or cat to cuddle and care for can help you transfer your need to nurture. If you're not into pets, try growing seeds or houseplants. You'll be required to nurture them too.
9. Work on eliminating clutter to prepare your home space as somewhere you want to be for your next life phase. Donating what is no longer needed and organizing your space can be therapeutic.
10. When new ideas come, capture them. Make a list. Even if you don't pursue them now you might want to in the future, so jot them down.
15. Apply for jobs. You'll never know if one's a good fit until you try.
16. Make the most of every opportunity. Talk to others when you are standing in line. Be open and friendly.
The fruit of the spirit includes the makings of a good attitude and brings contentment. And contentment is gold.
A ROADMAP
If you're looking for a roadmap as you attempt to move forward in your next life phase, you are welcome to use this list as a guide:
1. Face your feelings. Tap into what is troubling you. Grieve the changes, cry if you need to, journal your thoughts and questions. Get it all out. Acknowledging your feelings is helpful.
If you're looking for a roadmap as you attempt to move forward in your next life phase, you are welcome to use this list as a guide:
1. Face your feelings. Tap into what is troubling you. Grieve the changes, cry if you need to, journal your thoughts and questions. Get it all out. Acknowledging your feelings is helpful.
2. Don't get stuck there though. If you find you're stuck there, seek the help of a therapist, life coach, other professional, or close friend.
3. Remember that God is near to the brokenhearted and those who are crushed in spirit. Give him your burdens and then decide you will move on in faith.
4. Start each day fresh. Don't bring yesterday's worries into today.
5. Work on your body by stretching, lifting weights, or going for walks. Get outside and enjoy nature.
6. Try activities that may help boost your self-esteem. That may include more frequent showers, updates to your cosmetics cabinet, a new hair colour, a new article of clothing, and redecorating your space.
7. Consider that all the little jobs you do matter in the bigger scheme of life whether they are mundane and boring or not. Even if you're not paid to do housework, it is a job--an important one.
8. Consider getting a pet. Having a dog to walk or cat to cuddle and care for can help you transfer your need to nurture. If you're not into pets, try growing seeds or houseplants. You'll be required to nurture them too.
9. Work on eliminating clutter to prepare your home space as somewhere you want to be for your next life phase. Donating what is no longer needed and organizing your space can be therapeutic.
10. When new ideas come, capture them. Make a list. Even if you don't pursue them now you might want to in the future, so jot them down.
11. God is great at putting new ideas into a person's mind and heart. Ask him for new vision. Listen for his still small voice.
13. Look into courses. Upgrade rusty skills. Learn things you need to know in this era of technology.
14. Try a new hobby or restart an old one. What is it time to return to?
12. Look for opportunities to meet new people. Join a church group, a walking group, or a gym group that works out together. Others need you just as much as you need them. They might also help link you to a new job or hobby.
14. Try a new hobby or restart an old one. What is it time to return to?
15. Apply for jobs. You'll never know if one's a good fit until you try.
16. Make the most of every opportunity. Talk to others when you are standing in line. Be open and friendly.
No, the road beyond motherhood is not simple and easy, but God will instruct you and teach you where to go even if it is in what feels like baby steps.
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| One of my pet cats over the years. |
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