 |
| Write a New Life Chapter |
I'm working on a book for stay-at-home moms. While writing, I've been remembering a lot--mostly the negatives--the part about giving up a career and my inner turmoil of choosing to leave the workforce and the constant questioning I did, as well as the loneliness and loss of self-esteem.
My writing touched that deep part of me. I was tempted to take what I'd written to my bedroom to journal my feelings and to ask God about them. That would require looking back. It would be like grieving about the lonely and angry parts.
Sometimes, it is helpful to deal with undercurrents of pain or habits. Sometimes working with a counsellor requires such.
But then I watched Joyce Meyer's Today's Show as I usually do. In it she reminded me there is little value in looking back, reliving the past, or spending too much time grieving. She talked about the Israelites being given 30 days to mourn for Moses before being required to get up again and move forward.
During her talk, I began to wonder why I had wanted to look back with complaint about what I didn't like about being a stay-at-home mom. Maybe I liked the emotional feeling I would get. I've heard some people are addicted to feeling low and tearfulness.
I know very well that we must put the past behind us. We can't change it. We can come to terms with it. If we're smart, we will even celebrate it. Be proud of it.
Today at the gym, my friend brought her four-year-old grand-daughter. She was sucking a ring pop. It reminded me of when I bought my own kids ring pops. Seeing my friend buckle her grandchild into the car reminded me of the oh so many times I did that with my own children. And, in that moment, I was thankful that I was an at-home mom and got to live out so many moments with my kids I will never get back.
Today I am focusing on how blessed I was and choosing to not go back and grieve the hard times. I am ready to celebrate the past and move forward yet again.
