Some Thoughts on Boredom

Though the future is a blurr, we can trust in God.

I don't know if you are like me in this or not. More times than I can count, I've struggled with boredom. It's a different feeling than loneliness or depression. It's a label I give myself usually late at night or sometimes while watching a TV show where the characters on the show seem to have more fabulous lives than I do. Sometimes it's after being couped up in the house too long. Boredom creeps up. 

I can follow the boredom trail if I want which usually leads me to feelings of self-pity, scrolling the online job bank, Facebook scrolling, or shaking my fist at God asking him to please give me what I need. 

Or, I can flip the channel of my thoughts. 

Sometimes boredom has a good side. I can prompt us to decide to take new steps or try new activities. It can be a motivator!

The type of boredom I usually fall into is tricky in that it often arrives when we have no time to prevent it or do anything about it. What I mean by that is I have often felt it late at night when it's too late to call a friend and ask her out for coffee and chit chat, or too late to go out to any type of social event.

Does that happen to you?

                            

Tonight I read about a syndrome some are calling midlife disappointment syndrome (MDS). I wondered if that is what my boredom is about. 

Similar to a midlife crisis, the symptoms of MDS can tempt a person to make radical changes in life. Some women, feeling hemmed in by midlife disappointment, suddenly consider leaving their marriage or career, pursuing plastic surgery, or even selling their home in search of a fresh start.

It becomes so important to recognize the boredom trail early and step off it before it leads somewhere destructive.

When a person stays on that trail too long, the mind can begin to replay the same dissatisfied thoughts again and again. Over time, those thoughts can start to feel like truth rather than passing emotions. The story becomes convincing: Something must be wrong with my life.

And once that belief takes hold, there are often people nearby who will encourage drastic action. Friends or acquaintances may cheer on the idea of dramatic change, reinforcing the belief that tearing everything down is the path to freedom.

But in many cases, the real problem is not the marriage, the home, or the circumstances themselves. It is simply the natural experience of boredom—something that visits every life from time to time. Recognizing that difference can prevent decisions that later become the greatest regrets.

                            

Just as taking a vacation does not solve life boredom once the trip is over, throwing out a marriage is not necessarily the answer either. Escaping for a time may provide relief, but when the novelty fades, the same restlessness often returns.

A better response is to recognize that boredom may simply be a signal that something needs attention. Instead of dismantling what has been built, it may be time to invest in it—especially in a marriage. Turning toward the relationship, rather than away from it, often leads to deeper growth and renewed connection.

Part of the path forward is learning to dismiss the looping thoughts that boredom tends to produce. Those thoughts often exaggerate dissatisfaction and narrow the mind’s focus to what feels lacking. Replacing them with more hopeful thinking opens space for a different perspective.

I once read a distinction that stayed with me: optimism can simply be positive thinking, but hopefulness is rooted in God-thinking. When hope rests in the belief that God is good and knows what is best for a person, the mind settles differently. Will you trust God to relieve your boredom? 

With God-thinking, there is a renewed sense of peace, purpose, and even joy. In that light, boredom loses much of its power.  

                               

For a long time, I assumed my struggles with boredom were unique to me—perhaps the result of the choices I made in my life. After working for fourteen years, I stepped away from my job to raise my children. That decision meant leaving the routines and rhythms of the workforce, and I have now been outside that structure for more than twenty-five years.

I was never “just” a homemaker, though. Over the years I took on a variety of work-from-home roles and projects. Yet those experiences were different from traditional employment. I did not have the daily camaraderie of coworkers, the affirmation or recognition that often comes from peers, the steady rhythm of a regular paycheck, or the built-in social interaction many people experience in a workplace.

Because of that, I once believed boredom might simply be the by-product of my particular lifestyle. What I have since discovered, however, is that this feeling is not unique to me at all. It crosses many boundaries—affecting people in all kinds of circumstances and life stages.

                     

One article I read said the solution is acceptance. I think that is partly true.

For Christ-followers, there is peace in accepting that the God of the universe can change our lives at any time. For now, He has placed us where we are, doing what we are doing, and surrounded by the relationships we have—for His reasons.

When boredom creeps in, I try to flip the script. I remind myself that one long season of career building and motherhood has already passed, and the future is still unwritten—except to God. He knows our end from our beginning.

                           

Some say boredom can be a sign of spiritual neglect. Others say it is closely tied to grief. Both may be true. I can see places in my own life where grief quietly lives. I may grieve the career path that never unfolded as I once imagined. I may grieve the passing of the intense motherhood years. I may even grieve the simple routines I once had—like walking my dog, who is now gone. Grief, in many forms, becomes part of the aging process.

Yet mingled with that grief and occasional boredom is a growing trust that the phase ahead will bring new opportunities. I try to lean into God during these times—reading His Word, learning from thoughtful authors, and listening for His guidance.

What unsettles me at times is not being able to clearly label what comes next. I want to know the plan. I want to see the direction. But that knowledge often comes only in time. And acceptance needs to fit in between. 

And so I wait for the next opportunities to appear, choosing to do so with expectancy rather than fear.

                           

I think dealing with this boredom requires we have proper expectations. Sometimes it is our expectations and wants that get us into trouble. We can't have it all! (All our brains imagine, that is.) We must be happy with the little God reveals and the small successes we are given.  

What we can do is pour out our heart's desires to God and let him decide what he wants to do with them. 

                           

We should not expect our lives to look the way they did in our twenties, nor should we measure them against the lives of others we happen to cross paths with. Instead, we can place our lives on God’s altar and trust Him to shape us more into His likeness, guiding us one step at a time.

And we can trust that He will use us to fulfill the purposes He has in mind—whether or not we always have the eyes to recognize them in the moment.