Learn About Your Personality and Serve God with It

Today's goal was to get to the pharmacy to pickup prescriptions. Now that I have a few medical issues, that is a regular adventure. But I'm glad I switched to a community pharmacy where my name is known and I'm warmly greeted. And, it's close to home. 

The more life moves on as we age, the more difficult it seems to find new friends or social connections. So I value short conversations with people like my pharmacist. Do you?

And as I was driving, thoughts flooded my mind. I find that happens in the shower and on walks too. These breaks in my day, when I pull away from the computer screen--and for many of you it would be your phone--is when life is processed.

I'd been reading comments on a Twitter (X) thread just before heading out. A woman had asked a question to others who are retired. She seemed to feel like every day in her life recently was the same as the day before and wondered if other retirees felt the same.

And as I drove later, I thought about my interactions on social media and life in general and the idea that most of us simply want to know we aren't the only one feeling as we do. Hearing someone share their struggles helps us. 

The more time I spend reading a variety of online material, the more I see that is where the most vulnerable thoughts are being shared. 

I thought about the feedback this woman was given. Some of it was great. Much resonated with me since I now call myself semi-retired. But some advice wasn't so great. That is often the type of advice from a person who hasn't walked in our shoes--who is not in the same life phase--or who has a different personality style. 

Personality Style 

I've been reading lately to learn more about my personality style. For far too long I figured there was something wrong with me. I was a shy child and only now do I know the term 'social anxiety'. I had it then, but instead of others understanding, I was teased about it. Since I have a son with it, I have a greater understanding. I don't push and prod him. I also have a daughter who is an extrovert. And I'm happy with how she lives her life. 

It is easy to feel like an oddball based on our personality type. But God made us each unique for his own purposes. Why should we criticize what God has made?

I pushed myself into being what they call an ambivert, by my 30s, but inside I'm still an introvert. The pandemic living proved it. I liked being home. 

Having transitioned from being a full-time mom to working freelance from home, I marveled at how well I navigated being home so much. Yes, I find joy in the security of my nest and appreciate the freedom to express my creativity without the constraints of criticism or office politics as I might experience in an office job. It's only now that I realize it's an intrinsic part of who I am, a design by God.

Instead of listening to advice from extroverts about all the wonderful things they think I should be doing like travelling, playing cards with the locals, and joining a 5K running group, I am focusing on embracing the way God made me. 

I enjoy long periods of deep thought, solitude, prayer, or meditative thinking. I prefer deep conversations online and in person and despise salesy type networking talk. I'm realistic about my flaws and try more and more to admit when I'm wrong. I spend my free time on creative aspects like creating artwork, taking photos, and writing. 

Watch Your Advice

Extroverts on the thread I read today came across as a little scolding--but that's my sensitive nature reacting. Some told the original poster (OP) that she needed to get out more, that her brain and body needed more stimulation, and went on to brag about their travels. I doubt any of these people knew this person personally and she hadn't shared many details about what else she does each day so it seemed a little judgmental to me. 

I tend to shudder when people use terms like "you need to" and "you should". Maybe a person doesn't need to do this or that. A favourite saying of mine is this: 

Just because a person CAN do something, doesn't mean they SHOULD do it.

Ask God What He Wants You to Do 

What matters is living life according to what God wants you to do.   

Psalm 139:16  “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” (NLT). 

We are on earth to be reconciled to God, to listen for his voice, and to obey him. 

"Fear God and keep His commandments, because this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13, BSB).

There is no higher purpose than being a servant of the King of the universe (see Psalm 84:10).

Honour Your Uniqueness 

God created us each with a unique personality. He can use all of it. We will love others, encourage others, be a blessing, and serve God in the ways he has designed us to. But to be effective in his service, it's important we maintain a healthy self-image. To go forward with confidence and not self-doubt. 

That is something I'm working on. Are you?

I want to see myself as God's handiwork and see myself as he sees me. No self-loathing. No criticism. And I am working on believing the still small voice that tells me 

You're doing a good job, 

You're a hard worker, 

 God loves you immensely. 

I am leaning on trusting him to work out issues I might be tempted to worry about. I am leaning on him to work behind the scenes putting new opportunities in place for me. 

We are “God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). 

How can you look at your personality style and use it in God's work? 

Keys to Reinvention in Midlife

Where are you in your midlife journey? Are you content, peaceful, and grateful? Or are you plagued with a restlessness you can't quite put your finger on?

Midlife can be a period of significant change and introspection for many women. There are umpteen reasons why midlife women might feel restless or experience bouts of boredom during this life stage.

It's important to note that these feelings can vary greatly from person to person, and not all women will experience them in the same way. Some common reasons for restlessness or boredom in midlife women include these: 

Empty Nest Syndrome: When children leave home or become more independent, mothers may experience a sense of loss and emptiness.

Career Stagnation: Some women may feel unfulfilled in their careers, especially if they've been doing the same job for a long time. This can lead to a desire for new challenges and opportunities.

Relationship Changes: Midlife often brings changes in relationships creating a sense of uncertainty and restlessness.

Physical Changes: The physical changes that come with menopause such as hormonal fluctuations and changes in appearance can impact a woman's self-esteem and contribute to restlessness or boredom.

Reevaluation of Life Goals: Midlife often prompts women to reevaluate their life path. Evaluation tends to take place. But too much introspection can lead to unecessary restlessness. Accepting the idea you are on God's path and that He thinks you've done a good job may be more helpful.

Loss of Purpose: Some women who have devoted a significant part of their lives to caregiving might struggle to find a new sense of purpose.

Health Concerns: Midlife can bring about health challenges, and dealing with issues like chronic illnesses or other health concerns including needed surgeries can be taxing.

Social Isolation: As children grow and a woman's social circles changes, women might experience a sense of social isolation, contributing to restlessness. 

Lack of New Challenges: Some women may feel that life has become too routine lacking new and stimulating challenges.

Existential Reflection: Midlife often prompts deep existential questions about the meaning of life and one's place in the world.  

Societal Pressures: Society often places expectations on women to maintain youthful appearances and continuously achieve in various life areas. These pressures can lead to a woman making comparisons to others which leads to restlessness and dissatisfaction.

On top of the above-noted in-depth causes of restlessness, a good summary is this: 

A common pursuit of many midlife 

women is to find life's "Holy Grail". 

This 'Holy Grail' might be typified by the words happiness, success, and fulfillment.  The search for this Holy Grail becomes more desperate to the midlife woman because she realizes she's been feeling less happiness, success, joy, and fulfillment lately. Life is moving quickly, and time is running out.  She knows she's sacrificed a lot for others and wonders: what is there for me? 

She may ask, shouldn't she have found my most excellent path by now?

When we consider God's will and ways, finding the Holy Grail as listed above isn't what He desires.  Perhaps this is why finding it is so elusive, because we were never intended to focus so much on these things--happiness, success, and fulfillment. Nor were we intended to focus on material pleasures and other cares of this world. 

Jesus did come to bring us abundant life, and he takes great joy in giving us good gifts. Make no mistake about that. But his utmost desire is for us to love him and others, seek his wisdom, and to be available for his purposes.  He encourages us to stir up our gifts, to abide with him, to be in fellowship with other believers, and to keep learning, growing, and maturing. 

Roles Change

All through life our roles change by sheer virtue of aging. Our careers change. Relationships change. Our children’s lives change. There is no stopping the process. 

There is no graduation ceremony for moms, so to speak.  There are no textbooks for a woman to study to spell out what is next. So often the restlessness moms feel is fear of the unknown. Wondering what lies ahead; sensing a need to reinvent themselves but at a loss to know how to do so. 

 

Are You Reinventing Yourself?

The search for re-invention and reinvigoration is an ongoing process. So let it be a 'process' without a predictable end in sight. To do this well, you'll need to learn to live in the moment, not the past, and not in fear of the future. You'll need to resist being hasty or judgmental. That is, walk through new circumstances without evaluating them harshly. Just let what is be what it is. 

When doubts assail you, refocus your thoughts on the present moment and be thankful for all you have. AND...STAY HOPEFUL. 

Here are a few more intentional steps you may want to take as you pursue your next life phase of reinvention:

1. Review the significant stages of your life thus far, if you haven't already. Divide them into chapters.  Look at God's hand all through each phase and be thankful. 

2. What chapter are you about to begin now? Be creative and give your next chapter a fancy title. 

3. In a journal, write a long list of questions to God about the upcoming chapter.

4. Ask God to put new desires into your heart.

5. Ask God to show you some simple steps to take on your desires.

6. Read a few devotional books as well as sections from a Bible and make note of what speaks to you that seems to coincide with your journal entries.

7. In the days ahead, look for confirmations and answers to your questions.

8. Search the Internet and take notes on what you find that spells out possibilities of new adventures. 

9. Work on adding regular exercise and fresh air into your routine.  

10. Come up with five to 10 words that describe you right now. 

Philippians 2:13 

"For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."

What have you done lately to reinvent yourself? 

What tips do you have for others?

Quote by Tammy J. Hernandez