What are You Looking for Help with? Midlife Crisis, Menopause, or Life Purpose?

 

(Re-write of 2014 article)

My theme here often and with my coaching tools is midlife crisis.  I realize by using that term, I ostracize many.  That's because either those in a crisis don't want to think in those terms, or readers simply are not in a crisis every day. Nevertheless, I am revamping previous blog posts and you will see many on midlife crisis in the future. 

It was recently pointed out to me I could write on menopause. Why?  Because I spent 10 years going through it! The phase before menopause is called perimenopause. It is complex. The changes it brings to the body and mind can be connected to midlife crisis feelings too.  

For a time, I didn't want to give midlife crisis or menopause any weight or make either a topic of focus, but since writing on it I've had many readers. There is a need to vulnerably cover these issues. These are real issues that many women, Christian or secular, want help for. 

There have been several challenges I've faced myself due to the change of life. I address some of it in my eBook.  What I do want to say is: if either of these topics is what brought you to this blog today, my advice to you is to--be patient with yourself, pamper yourself, be your own advocate, find help for troubling emotions, build a team of support around you as best you can and, basically, don't do anything drastic like sell all your possessions, have a meltdown at work, or leave your husband.

I also write on life purpose. That is a common search topic of midlife women. I trained as a life purpose coach--a process that takes a woman through a number of probing questions. You can find the handbook I used here. Each week, as her coach, I'd meet with my client by phone to hear her discoveries after she worked on one of the chapters.  The goal was to help her tie together life threads that would help her see who God made her to be and what mission he might want her to work on. 

In my eBook, I do talk somewhat about this theme as well.  After going through the coaching process with many women, I'm not sure how effective it was in helping them narrow down one life purpose. The idea of finding one big purpose is a little overblown, in my opinion. My interpretation is that life holds a variety of purposes for most women. I mean, for example, when a woman becomes a mom, there are a gazillion purposes in that role she will fulfill. But many women discount it looking for something with a title--something more fulfilling. That isn't to say a woman isn't also supposed to enjoy a career or ministry. She can. But it is her God-given gifts she uses in her job or ministry that are part of her purpose, not the job title itself.

And, of course, the Word of God points out our primary purpose: to love God and our neighbours.  

So the pursuit of life purpose, in my opinion, is very involved. And it changes depending on your life phase.   

How I Live My Purpose

For years, I wanted nothing more than to nail down one big purpose for myself. In 2007, I thought life coaching would be it. But I was disappointed. Instead, I poured myself into becoming a freelance web content writer. 

When I received a high-paying writing assignment one day, I felt the way I'd longed to feel for some time--being paid what I felt I was worth as a writer--confirmation of my calling.  It felt good.  But since I write freelance, once one assignment was done, I needed my next.  The feeling of living my purpose wasn't sustainable.  

So I want to caution women that they may not find the perfect answer about what their life purpose is.  Please, don't frustrate yourself looking for it. Instead, live each day in the place God has called you to. Do all for the glory of God and don't fret about wanting to do something more important. 

My life journey has been multi-directional.  Now, I ask God what he has on the agenda for me each day. My prayer is:

"Please direct me into what will be the best use of my time and energy." 

I say energy in that prayer because I'm very aware that I don't have the same physical energy I did when I was younger. I need to pace myself. And so I look to God to give me wisdom on a daily, minute-by-minute basis. 

That writing assignment was unexpected.  I didn't go hunting for it.  It found me. And it was a great surprise. Also over the last three years, I was involved in a confidential volunteer project. Again, it found me. And it was very fulfilling. 

 

But truth be told, it works against my personality to live this way--collecting manna day by day. But that's been how God's called me to live it seems.  It may very well be the way God wants you to live too--not finding one BIG answer, merely living out each challenging day as it's presented.

  Psalm 32:8- The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. 

I will advise you and watch over you." 

Do you believe it?

Proverbs  16:9— ”A man’s heart plans his way, 

but the Lord directs his steps."

Have you experienced this?

Proverbs  1:33 declares- 

“But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, and will be secure, without fear of evil.”

Do you want this for yourself?