How are you feeling? Humdrum? Fulfilled?
Have you experienced a feeling of restlessness that you can't quite put your finger on?
Have you been living your life in maintenance mode caring for all in front of you but feeling like you have nothing fun or fulfilling for yourself?
Do you crave change but don't know what change to make? Do you long to serve God but need to know what it is He wants you to do?
If any of this describes you, rest assured, you aren't alone in this feeling. Many women have felt that way or currently do.
I've felt that way. I've resolved those feelings at times, and at other times they've returned. By now, though, I've gained enough insight into this somewhat plaguing journey.
I now make the unraveling of that journey my specialty as a writing life coach.
A New Age Gap of Christian Women Who Are Restless
I've often based my midlife writing on younger women. I talk about perimenopause or menopause. I've targeted women 45 to 55. I've always known there's another gap with similar struggles though. It's the gap of women who have never returned to the workforce or who have retired early. It might be women over 60--long past reaching menopause. It might include women over 65, looking for post-retirement excitement.
With many of these women, they are still single or their children have grown. Inwardly, when this restlessness appears, their thoughts spin like a Cuisinart trying to blend a meatloaf. If left to spin too long, they fall into despair.
Recently, I interacted with another such woman...
She arrived at Patti's house, ready for an afternoon of snacking and laughter. It was a time for connection and a little fun.
I'd met Bernice a few years ago and sensed her turmoil then. She was looking for her next phase of life activity to get involved in.
This time, I sensed she still hadn't found that one thing she hoped to become involved in as a midlife woman.
She craved change but didn't know what that should look like.
Bernice didn't know I'm a certified life coach and that I spend a fair amount of time researching this topic and writing blogs and eBooks for Christian midlife women. I would love to just hand her my card and links to everything I think would help her, but I am not in the habit of doing that.
So I write online in hopes that women like Bernice find my input helpful.
Before I offer these tips, let me first say that this restlessness can be healthy or misplaced. It's healthy if God is nudging us to make changes. It is misplaced if we've developed discontent and lack of confidence that God is truly leading us. It's far too easy to focus on a fantasy life we wish we had instead of appreciating the life we've been given.
Once a woman solves her restlessness, it doesn't mean it won't return. A change of scenery, activity and so on is needed by most of us now and then. It's part of life.
A Few Tips for Midlife Women Who Crave a Sense of Mission
When I first went through a similar stage of wandering, I came across Katie Brazelton's Book, Pathway to Purpose for Women. Bernice could start with this book.
Funny enough, after reading through the book the first time, I DIDN'T find it helpful. I didn't find the answers I was searching for. I had to revisit it.
There are questions in the back, so I then dedicated a summer to answering them and journalling about it.
Later, I was introduced to the book Conversations on Purpose for Women. It is designed for a woman to go through with an accountability partner or life coach. Bernice may find this book helpful too. I went through it with my life coach while doing life coach training.
Again, I didn't find definitive answers, but what I learned is all part of my journey.
I've also written a number of books which are currently only available on Kindle. See the side-bar for links. These can also help a woman like Bernice make a little more sense of the phase she is in. The book below, for instance, may be helpful to find things to work on, while the wilting book will be helpful for her to value the place she's at right now.
|Book for Midlife Christian Women|
|Book for Nest-Emptying Christian Women to Value their Place in Life|
The dilemma of feeling restless isn't easily solved. The waves of emotion can come and go. There are multiple tools and resources I could recommend, but there is no one-size fits all solution because every woman is different.
Still, if you think these resources might help you, click on the link and start working through it today!
Message me for further questions or comment below.