Could you be having a midlife crisis?
Several themes emerged through conversations with women I coached. Some women seemed to feel stuck and lost. Others didn't have a description for how they felt, they just knew they wanted more out of life.
They were Christians, but even Christian women struggle with life fulfillment and purpose. Even Christian women face life transitions.
In many cases, some type of transition was involved in the women's lives--kids were leaving home, kids were going off to college, they or their spouse had lost a job or quit one, and so on.
Many of these women I coached were also in the age bracket for perimenopause and menopause--a time where hormones can upset the apple cart.
Not only were their bodies changing, their roles were changing. Some were moms whose roles were changing. Others were not moms but sought something new.
These women wanted to look inside at who they were now in the current moment and gather insight on what to do next.
Also came dilemmas that felt unsolvable in spite of very good efforts--the inability to find a new job, the inability to narrow down something they were interested in, feelings of confusion, feeling the need to refocus their life but not sure how, feelings of sadness and sometimes depression.
Some doctors would merely say these women were "depressed" but I would suggest an alternative viewpoint. A more apropos term may be that a woman like this is having a midlife crisis.
A midlife crisis is something that has to be walked through. Various life areas are under siege and help is needed all around.
LABELS CAN BE HELPFUL
It is helpful at times to be able to put a label on a situation because then a person knows what they're dealing with.
Without direction, it can be too tempting to take stabs at what's going on and to make drastic life-altering decisions.
It's easy, for instance, when in crisis to assign blame where it doesn't belong. A woman may blame her husband, her marriage, her boss, her children, her husband's ex-wife, and so on. Some secular counsellors might suggest she throw it all away and start over. In my opinion, unless there are deep issues calling for a divorce or job change, taking drastic measures won't solve her issues.
A woman in a midlife crisis will make more progress when she stops looking for someone to blame and takes responsibility for how she feels. Then, the hard work comes of identifying action steps to take.
It's always better to make changes from a place of health and understanding than from a place of despair.
|This Wheel of Life can help a woman look at various life areas out of balance.|
I wrote the book Midlife Crisis Checklists as a companion to my other midlife crisis book on Kindle. The Midlife Crisis Checklists book presents issues that may help a woman find her way out of the thicket.
If you feel you fit the criteria for a midlife crisis, embrace the label. You don't have to tell everyone, just realize what you are feeling is fairly common. Take responsibility without blaming others. Then, with guidance, walk through your midlife crisis, chipping away at a number of distressing issues in your life until you find balance and peace.