Quit Being a Worrywart Know-it-All

Are you a mess, or are you walking the path of confidence in God? 

What do you focus on?  It's not a new theory but pre-2008 I probably hadn't heard this theory myself and it's been life-changing to know it:  
What you focus on grows. 

That means, if you choose to focus on what could go wrong, what's gone wrong, the negative news, the prospect of loss, scarcity thinking, your poor health and so on, you will likely become full of anxiety, stress, and maybe even depression.  

There's nothing the enemy wouldn't like more than for you to become stuck in negativity and doubting God's goodness.  It takes fight.  It takes staying alert and healthy to combat negative thinking. It takes knowing what God's word says, reviewing it, and believing it.

We Are Only Human 

Negative thinking happens to the best of us at times.  It's happened to me often--especially in perimenopause.  It happened to me January 2015 as my cat had died two days before Christmas, after months of pallative care, and at the same time a relative was diagnosed with a disabling illness, friends had let me down, and I had become ill. We are human, and we all face challenges.

Being midlife women it's easy to fall into stress too. Our children are spreading their wings and we may not like their choices. We may even try to manipulate the events because we have a better idea of how things should go. When our manipulation doesn't work, we become undone. 

But manipulation and control are not Biblical ways of living. We must humble ourselves and hand over the reins of control to God if we're to have a hope. We must quit trying to be a know-it-all.

Training our Thoughts 

Staying stuck in negativity isn't Biblical.  God doesn't tell us to dwell on what's not working but on what is good in life.We are to focus on what is working.

 Philippians 4:8 (NKJV) says this:

"Meditate on These Things

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."  

In order to do this, we need a mind shift. It means giving up our savior-mentality. It takes stepping out of the practice of trying to fix things.  

It takes surrendering our issues to God.  It's easy to say we've done that, but if the agitation continues, chances are we haven't fully done so.  

To try to handle all the pain that surrounds us ourselves is selfish at best.  To try to manipulate things to go our way is wrong.

Yes, we all want peace, but in this life we will have both peace and trials. And we all go through trials.  Your trial is not bigger than that of another person's. Resist the temptation to become a martyr.

Set Your Kids Free

As midlife women, some of our angst has to do with our children and their choices. A young friend replied to a post on Facebook. The question posed was "What do you wish?"  His answer was "That my mother would let me grow up."

We've all been there. Some of us had pushier parents than others. But most of us in our early 20s were ready to test the waters on our own. It's part of life. It's what we spent the previous 20 years preparing our children for. 

To let our children free means to trust that we have done well in our parenting but also to trust God to finish his work in their lives. As midlife parents, we move from consulting and coaching into cheerleading. Cheerleaders don't tell others what to do. They stand back with faith hoping things will go well, and they cheer and encourage progress. 

Yes, our children may make choices we don't like. When they do, our response can be to take it to prayer.  We can relay our feelings, but taking sides or preaching at them is likely to backfire. It will serve us better to be the strong tower of love they can rely on even as young adults. 

So take whatever burden is on your heart right now and give it to God. Then leave it with God. This burden is as much about training and growing you as it is about the issue at hand. Do the right thing and be pliable in God's hands. 

Proverbs 3 of The Message shares this:

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;

    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

    he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
    Run to God! Run from evil!

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