(Third part of Clarity Hunt, see Part Two Here) I was disappointed to see my photo of the Princess Gates in Toronto didn't turn out. That's what happens when a passenger tries to snap a photo in a fast-moving car.
This photo was taken just after Christmas when things were still lit up for the season. We'd taken a different route home to avoid traffic. Had we not taken this route, I wouldn't have seen this beautiful sight.
You can't make it out, but there is a beautiful chandelier in the archway and beautiful lit statues on top of the wall.
Nevertheless, this is a good example of how our life pathway sometimes looks. Blurry. Which is why we seek clarity.
Even though we head into our search with good intentions, we sometimes meet with obstacles or setbacks. My husband and I were trying to fast something different every day since January 11. It went well at first, and then it went downhill.
The second two weeks of January, I had a tension headache. My head felt as though it were in a vice. Reading, meditating, and fasting became limited.
Just when the headache lifted, I got the flu. I can't even think straight with chronic sneezing going on.
My exercise plan went out the window as did my New Year's goals. (I think I know why people give up their New Year's goals within weeks--because it is flu season!)
I'm tempted to be hard on myself. I'm tempted to grasp at straws to understand what God's teaching me so I can pass that on to others. I'm tempted to feel like a fraud not sticking to my fasting plan. But none of that condemning is God. It is my perfectionist personality with a hint of the enemy's discouragement thrown in.
Trying to looking at life through a health setback is like trying to snap a photo of something beautiful in a fast-moving car. Deep down I know there is clarity beyond even this recent blurriness of health setbacks. I saw the Princess Gates in their splendor and those that visit it will see it clearly too. Like the Princess Gates, God's plan for my life stands whether I can see it clearly or not.
I've heard that when God allows tests, he watches our reaction toward the test more than he watches how we solve it. I'm reminded that I need to give the setbacks to him too. I need to ask for healing and trust he will still provide the clarity I've been on a search for.
Perhaps I'm on a detour. With my setbacks, I may discover something beautiful that I would have missed if I were well.
Are you on a clarity hunt? How's it going?