Do You Have the Blues?

Today I was thinking of Janet.  I bumped into Janet after moving to Winnipeg.  She was a sales clerk at a store I was shopping in.  I appreciated her warm conversation. 

In that short time, I gained a snapshot of her life.  She and her husband had moved due to his job, but they'd left their teens out west to finish their schooling.  Janet missed her daughters greatly.  She was also confused, saying she probably shouldn't even have taken the job she had, but she didn't know what else to do.

Several months later, Janet showed up at my church.  I said hello, but time didn't allow for much more.  At a church banquet, I glanced out a window to see a lady sitting on the front porch, tears streaming down her face.   I assumed the violin music that was being played at the banquet had become too much for this woman triggering strong emotions.  I recognized the woman, but couldn't place her at the time.  Later I realized this was Janet again. 

I've run into this kind of woman many times now--women whose emotions have gotten away from them.  Someone back then told me it was menopause or midlife related.  I was ill equipped at the time to know much about that.  Now, as I've journeyed through midlife myself, I understand a lot more and I see a need for my life coaching to take a midlife bent.

JANET-PROOF YOURSELF

No one wants to become a Janet.  We can become Janet's, though, as it tends to creep up on us in midlife.  

I'm sure Janet didn't want to feel how she was either. 

A life coach doesn't give advice per se, but if I put my consultant hat on, I'd recommend a few things for Janet-like symptoms. 

  • Before making big life changing decisions like moving or taking a job--ensure it is what God wants.  Let him help you make the best decisions for your family.  One you know God is involved, you will be able to trust it will work out, rather than live in self-pity and regret.  When you make the decision, don't backtrack on it.  Look for what doors God wants you to walk through next.
  • I'd recommend getting a medical checkup to ensure all is optimum, mentioning depression if that indeed is a problem.
  • I'd recommend separating out feelings and working on them independently.  For instance, I predict Janet was suffering from multiple emotional issues:
a)  grief of moving and saying goodbye to her house, neighbours, friends, church, etc.
b)  grief of being apart from her children, and accepting that they've grown up
c)  fear of the unknown future
d)  isolation--needing to make friends and struggling to
e)  stress from a new job
f)   adjustment to the empty nest
g)  hormonally induced emotions.

Without separating out the issues, it's easy to become overwhelmed.

SOLUTIONS 

I'd also recommend Janet work with a life coach on solution-based forward movement.  I'd recommend she learn some cognitive therapy tips--training her mind to go places that work for her, not mess her up.  I'd recommend she exercise, and create some positive steps to move forward on.  I'd recommend she join in with women's groups rather than isolate.  I'd recommend she read some positive thinking books and do a private Bible study so she could hear from God. 

I'd recommend Janet do the Conversations for Women book or something similar to get a glimpse of where she is now in her life and to identify the strengths she should work on.

These are just a few tips any midlife woman can consider. 

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